So last night I had a dream. I dreamed that my Uncle Dallas and his family were at my house visiting. (Which would be nice since we don't get to see them very often.) Anyway Jacey did something (I don't know what), and Dallas scolded her. And I freaked out. I mean seriously, I went ballistic. I shouted at him and kicked him out of my house and was just plain horrible.
Then all of a sudden we were at a church watching a basketball game, and I was sitting next to Dallas and I knew that I needed to apologize, but my pride wouldn't let me. Have you ever been there? I have -- more often than I'd like to admit. It's a horrible feeling. And the worst part of it is that before the dream was over, Londyn screamed in her sleep and woke me up. And so I never apologized. I sat there in bed this morning with this horrible feeling of knowing that I had been a jerk and never apologized for it.
Dallas, if you're reading this, I really am very, verry sorry. I was totally out of line.
Anyway, this dream has been bothering me all day and I think it's because I've been thinking about all the times I've been a jerk while awake. And I know there have been many. Some I know I finally swallowed my pride and apologized for (it only took me 5 years to apologize to Bryan for leaving him stranded in Park City). But I'm afraid that there are other time's I've been a jerk that I don't even remember, but that somebody else does. And that brings the horrible feeling back. And really the only solution is to stop being a jerk.
Something for me to work on.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
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3 comments:
WOW what a crazy dream, I know I have also had some doozies!! If it makes you feel any better there have never been any times that I can think of that you were ever a jerk to me, so one less apology :) Somehow I have a hard time seeing you as a jerk! :)
I worked with you for a whole summer, Cynthia, and you never offended me. Aren't dreams so weird. The strangest things happen, and while you are dreaming them, they just seem normal.
That is really funny. I guess I will have to forgive you, but don't let it happen again :). How could anyone yell at those kids, they are too cute. I agree we should get together. We are moving to Show Low/Snowflake AZ in about a month, but after that I am going to try to get a Family Reunion set up. It may take years to get everyone on the same schedule to be able to come, but we should make it happen.
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