Newborn Days

are hard.

Exhausting.

A bit frustrating.

But so, so totally worth it.

(One day old)

Oakley is 3 weeks old today.  It’s amazing how much more quickly time passes once baby is on the outside!  The last few weeks of pregnancy have got to be the longest ever.  And even with all the exhaustion that comes with having a newborn, time still goes much MUCH faster on the flip side.

The past three weeks for me can be summed up in a word:  nursing.  Oakley is struggling to gain weight.  She has pretty much stayed exactly the same weight since she left the hospital.  It’s been like a flashback to 2.5 years ago with Calvin.  I’m hoping for a slightly different ending – Calvin only nursed for 6 weeks.  So we have been nursing a ton, trying to get her to put on some weight.  It was pretty discouraging to go back in for a weight check today and find out she’s only gained an ounce.  :(

She is a sleepy and content baby, possibly because I spend every moment she’s awake trying to get her to eat.  The kids have been on track break since she was born, and I’ve decided that’s a blessing.  They’ve been a little bored at times, but it’s sure been nice to not have to worry about getting them up and out the door, especially since Oakley likes to sleep in.  And I like to join her, since we rock 3 AM like nobody’s business.  

 

My mom was here for the first 2 weeks and I know I’ve said it before, but she is a freaking rockstar.  I don’t know how I would have managed without her help.  I certainly wouldn’t have had the luxury of being able to sit and nurse a baby for hours on end.  Calvin has missed her so much since she went home.  He actually broke down in tears the other day when he called her to say he missed her – and not temper tantrum tears, actual I’m-sad-you’re-gone tears.  Yes, she lives a mile away.  But after being right here for two weeks, that feels like . . . well, a mile away.

Will is home this week and next on paternity leave, and after that I’m going to have to figure out this mother-of-four thing for real.  I’ve been spoiled. 

Newborn days are hard for me.  I know a lot of moms who LOVE the newborn stage.  I do, and I don’t.  I love snuggling Oakley and kissing on her.  But I do not do well without my sleep, and the frustrations of nursing leave me drained.  I’m crabby.  I’m emotional.  And I take it out on everybody.  

But the good news is, this isn’t my first rodeo.  I know that things get better.  I know that the weight gain will come and even if we can’t nurse as long as I want to, it’s not the end of the world.  I know that I will, eventually, sleep all night.  And lose the baby weight.  And stop breaking out.  And stop crying at car insurance commercials.

In the mean time, things like this make me smile:

The day we came home from the hospital, I came around the corner and saw Calvin singing “Popcorn Popping” to Oakley.  He has been so cute with her, and surprisingly gentle and loving.  He loves to give her soft kisses, and he has said over and over again “I’m so glad for this baby sister!” 

Her big sisters love her too.  Jacey did some math this morning and figured out that she’ll be in college when Oakley is in 3rd grade (Jacey’s age now).  I actually think it made her a little sad to realize just how far apart they are in age.  She has been a fantastic helper, particularly with Calvin.  Londyn has been great too, and is usually the first to volunteer to hold Oakley.   

We have to go back in next Tuesday for another weight check.  And I’ve been instructed to give her two supplemental bottles a day.  Which makes me sad, because for Calvin that was the beginning of the end of nursing.  But we’ll do the best we can.  Think chunky thoughts for us this week.  :)