The post I’ve been putting off.

I’m not sure why.  Well, kind of I am.  It’s partially because I haven’t had much time.  But it’s also because I am just not quite sure where to start!  Maybe at the beginning.

The Sunday before school started, Marie invited my girls over for a sleepover.  We walked them to her house, borrowed a movie to watch, and walked back home.  On our walk home we started in on  a conversation we have every couple of months.  It goes something like this:  “Should we have another baby?  When?  Where would we put another baby?  We’d have to finish the basement.  Do we really want to put that kind of money into this house?  How long are we planning on staying in this house anyway?  Maybe we should just move.  Can we afford to move?  What is even out there in our price range?”  Etc. etc. etc.

We have this conversation a lot.  It usually ends with a big “I don’t really know” from both of us.  But on that Sunday night we crossed a switch point.  (You know that Pres. Hinckley quote right?)  Instead of sitting down to watch the movie we borrowed, we got on the internet and started browsing the MLS listings. 

And we found something.

And we felt something. 

And we fell in love with it.

And we made an appointment to go see it.

And the next night we saw it.

And fell more in love with it.

And put in an offer.

This is where things got stressful.  We started getting our house ready to sell.  We de-junked.  We de-cluttered.  We organized.  We cleaned.  All while waiting to hear back about this offer we’d made.  And mentally moving out the whole time. 

And then we heard back:  they took another offer that came in the day after ours.  We were bummed.  Super bummed.  And we couldn’t figure out why we had both been so sure that this was supposed to happen. 

We looked at our options.  And after a lot of back and forth, we decided to put our faith in that feeling we had had earlier and go ahead and put our house up for sale.  We had no idea if it would sell or not.  We figured that if it didn’t sell, we would finish the basement and stick around for quite a while longer.

We never expected the actuality, which was that we would have 4 offers within a week, and end up selling for more than our asking price.  This just confirmed to us that all of this was supposed to happen.  I just knew that that other deal was going to fall through and we would end up getting the house we had both felt so strongly about.

So we moved.  Quickly.   From the day we listed it to the day we closed was less less than a month.  We put most of our worldly belongings into a storage unit and moved in with my mom and dad, who have been so gracious and welcoming and patient as we’ve made ourselves at home with our little herd of rug rats.  And while I did prepare for the possibility of being here for several months (I remembered to get the kids’ stockings out of the Christmas boxes before sending them to storage!) I was pretty confident that we would get a phone call saying that we could make a new offer on the house we loved.

And then . . . we didn’t.  It sold.  People move in.  People who weren’t us.  I have to admit – I had a good cry that night.  I felt a lot of confusion.  And I second-guessed this whole decision.  And I cursed hind-sight.  If only we had known . . . how quickly our house would sell . . . the price it would sell for . . . that another offer was coming in on the new house . . . so many things we could have done differently.  But we didn’t know.  I think we did the best we could with what we did know.  And it didn’t work out.

And so by the morning I stopped crying.  And now I CHOOSE to believe that this is still happening for a reason.  And I am CHOSING to be patient and trust that Heavenly Father, who knows me and loves me and my little family, has something in store for me if I am patient enough to receive it. 

And so that’s where the story ends for now.  I’ll admit – I’m stressed.  I didn’t expect the feelings that not having a home of my own would trigger.  When our agent called last week to tell us the sale had funded, she said “Congratulations!  You’re homeless!”  I tried to laugh but the really knot in my stomach was tightening. 

I am anxious to get into a home.  But I really do think that I need to be patient with Heavenly Father’s timing to see how this is all going to play out.  I know there’s a reason, even though I can’t see it yet.